From FROG Lady to Brave Warrior

I’m doing it! I’m taking the plunge into the great abyss of the unknown... I’m going to be brave!!!

It’s funny to look back on life and see how many doors you can unknowingly close on yourself when you just go with the flow and stop doing things outside of your comfort zone. If I used a house as a metaphor, there was a time when I lived in a mansion, with doors everywhere, all open to great adventures, but sadly I’ve been downsizing- and now I feel like I’m in a cramped little 2 bedroom house, with some major leveling issues and doors that struggle to open... which is sad, as I’m a mum of 2 kids, with a husband... and they all love and want to try opening doors- lots of them- but sadly I’m stuck in my little house and they have to live with me... so it’s time to bite the bullet and up-size again... baby steps yes, but a 4 bedroom with solid foundations would be a great start and I’m going to work towards it!

So in March I’m upsizing my house and adding another door. It’s a door to something I have never done before, and if I can open it (Oh, I will!!!) I hope it’s going to be the beginning of many adventures. This door involves a small group of beautiful feminine souls and a weekend retreat organised by my amazingly inspiring friend Kimberly, where I can actually relax and unwind (or so I’m told!). I never ever considered opening a door to this world. When I think of a retreat, I think of being stuck unable to go home which fills me full of fear- which is crazy because isn’t that where you go to relax and let go of fear?! But the thought of being away from my comfortable, if not creaky doored little 2 bedroom house, and taking myself well away from everything that is my comfort zone really doesn’t get me excited... but I’m going to take the word of all of you who have gone on retreats before me and trust that it’s actually going to be a very enjoyable experience! So yes! I’m doing it!

Part of my motivation for going is that my 9 year old daughter Anais is going on her first school camp next week, and she is freaking out (Sorry Anais- I know it’s my fault!) and I realised that when I was told about the retreat I reacted in exactly the same way... so the pep talk I’ve been giving to my own daughter the last few weeks, is exactly the pep talk I need to give to myself. I need to go on my own ‘school camp!’ And the funny thing is that I am an amazing motivator to others...oh those words roll off my tongue like I was born to stand up in a room and tell the world they CAN do it! But somehow I block out all my own advice...

I often question what makes me so different from others?

Why is it that I have some friends that take life by the horns. Whilst I’m trying to bravely book the odd event at the Brolga Theatre (hoping and praying that the seat closest to the exit is still available), my good friend hops on and books front row seats to every event she possibly can! What makes us so different from one another?

I have one child who is a rock; just like his dad- nothing phases him. He’s going on the same school camp the day after my daughter, and he hasn’t once mentioned a thing about it... I know I’ll pop him on that bus and he’ll barely look back- he’ll leave ready to take on the adventure- no analysis of the future required, ‘now’ is all that there is in his reality, he knows there’s nothing to fear.

Fortunately I may have found part of my answer to that question last weekend. You see I ‘bravely’ signed up to join a very small group of woman who will get together every few months and decipher our astrological chart with an amazing mentor- we’re on a mission to understand ourselves, and astrology is something that I have always been fascinated by.

After spending a day analysing myself, I think I can safely say that I’m not surprised by the outcome. It appears that almost my entire chart is ruled by water, and as I was kindly told (and no I wasn’t offended) - the psyche ward (of life) is where I belong! You gotta laugh... I was born destined to float through life and cry a lot...it’s written in my stars! I’m not taking this negatively though- the great thing about knowing myself, is that I can also work to counter-balance it. I may not be able to stop the tears, but  I can work on grounding myself more, writing some lists, and not taking on the world’s problems. After all, if we want to evolve and be the best we can be, we need to understand ourselves first!

So 2018 is going to be MY year, which is interesting as I’m also turning the big 4.0 next week! As they all say- life begins at 40, so I figure this is the perfect time to put some trust back in life and start living... no matter what the stars say, or how small my house is- we all have to start somewhere right?!

Let’s go!